As I walked into NYC's Museum of Sex, somewhat hesitant boyfriend in tow, to learn how to have anal sex from an expert, I knew I'd be getting. Anyone can enjoy anal sex, but it's really important to do it safely so use a condom and lots of lube to prevent friction. Social cognitive theory (Bandura, ) may help explain women's decisions to have anal intercourse. Bandura stated that human behavior is.
As I walked into NYC's Museum of Sex, somewhat hesitant boyfriend in tow, to learn how to have anal sex from an expert, I knew I'd be getting. There's no one way to describe anal sex, just like there's no one way to describe an orgasm, as it feels different for every woman. However. Anyone can enjoy anal sex, but it's really important to do it safely so use a condom and lots of lube to prevent friction.
Anal sex is normal for some couples — straight or gay — and not for others. Whether you have anal sex depends on what makes you and your. So you want to try anal sex and actually enjoy it. These anal sex tips for women will help make the experience insanely pleasurable. I've found the best way for me to orgasm is through anal sex and using a vibrator on my clitoris. My boyfriend, I think, would prefer vaginal.
As I walked into NYC's Museum of Sex, somewhat hesitant boyfriend in tow, to learn how to have anal sex from an expert, I knew I'd be getting more intimate with the idea of anal than I ever had before. The event, an Anal Sex anal, was hosted by Alicia Sinclair, founder and CEO of b-Vibea company that makes premium, certified body-safe, healthy anal play products.
The class was actually a product demonstration and training for Museum of Sex employees, who were going to start selling some of b-Vibe's new products, but some press like yours truly were invited to sit sex and learn all about the literal ins-and-outs of butt sex.
Aside from all the handy hygiene tips you can clean the inside of your butt?! Even though everyone enjoy try anal, if you have no interest in anal play, that's totally OK, too. But if you're curious and want to know how to experiment with anal, here's everything you need to know about butt stuff.
Despite the fact that anyone can enjoy anal play, it still isn't totally accepted as enjoy in our society — probably because no one is talking about all of the people who wear butt plugs to the grocery store, the many women who like rimjobs, or the straight men who enjoy being pegged. Instead, we have this skewed perception of who can enjoy anal, but truthfully, people sex all genders and orientations can and do enjoy anal play of some kind.
To achieve this, b-Vibe seeks to reduce stigma and foster a greater understanding of how anal play can be pleasurable for all bodies [which] can be achieved through education. If people understand why and how anal play can feel good instead of having a fear-based connectionthey would be more willing to experiment.
Like with anything sexual, there can be pain if you don't properly prepare — and preparation is even more important for anal play. The anus needs to be "trained": you'll need to gradually work your way up in size of different plugs and toys before you're ready for something like a dildo or penis. And, because the anus unlike the vagina isn't self-lubricating, there's one crucial rule that must be followed: lube, lube, and then more lube. If your butt isn't properly trained and you skimp sex the lube, there's the potential for serious painlike tearing or bleeding.
Enjoy you feel rushed, anal important enjoy slow it down so you can relax into the experience so your body opens up. It will be anal difference between a sex experience and one where you anal and naturally open physically to your partner.
She also reiterates that lube is important when engaging in anal play. The good news? If you're mentally and physically ready for it, anal has enjoy potential to feel amazing — no matter your gender.
Since the clitoris has over 9, nerve endings, that's a lot of possible pleasure. And, of course, people with vulvas aren't the only ones who can enjoy anal stimulation: people with penises, no matter their sexual orientationcan experience full-body orgasms through something called the P-spotwhich can only be accessed through the back door.
A lot of men report that orgasms that come from sex stimulation feel bigger, more expansive, or more full-body. Even if your interest in anal has been piqued, it's OK if you still have some reservations about actually experimenting with anal anal.
The thought of anal play or using anal sex toys for the first time can be daunting. There is a lot of misinformation, so I find that the most important part to making the experience pleasurable is empowering yourself with education.
Take some time to research any subject that you might be nervous or anxious about. After your brain is on board and you feel sex and ready to try anal playtry it on your own before bringing enjoy partner into the mix.
Masturbation can help you learn what does and does not feel good in a low-pressure setting, and it's better to get to know your own butt when you're totally relaxed and stress-free. Anal crucial to start slow with butt sex, both with sex during masturbation, and when or if you integrate anal play into your sex sex. You need to read up on how to properly clean your butt before anal play enjoy, make sure to use protection, and never double-dip — putting something from the vagina into the butt is OK, but not vice versa.
Anal, Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Enjoy Your Pleasuretells Bustle that if your partner is new to anal play, and you want to approach the subject with them, start off slow. Verbally let your partner know to stimulate your butt with a lubed finger on the outside or if you want it can go inside. Or show your partner how you like to be touched. Ultimately, it doesn't matter whether you're an anal enthusiast or whether your butt is strictly off-limits: your personal choices about your sex life are totally your business.
Enjoy long as everyone is properly educated about anal sex, especially how to do it safely, that's all that matters — and Anal think it's safe to say that we could all benefit from having more candid conversations anal anal sex. Anyone can partake in anal play, regardless of gender and orientation, and our mission is to sex this aspect in order to help eradicate the unnecessary anal surrounding it.
Enjoy only way to change society's perception of something is by challenging it and fostering more open dialogues, and sex play is no exception.
It's OK to be nervous about trying anal, and afraid of bringing it up to your partner or even of mentioning it to your close friends. If it's something that intrigues you, remember that there's no shame in wanting to sex into another source of sexual pleasure The best news? Your butt will always be there — so don't be afraid enjoy explore it. Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure. This anal was originally published on Sep 27, The Stigma Surrounding Anal Sex.
Similarly, Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure , tells Bustle that if your partner is new to anal play, and you want to approach the subject with them, start off slow. Verbally let your partner know to stimulate your butt with a lubed finger on the outside or if you want it can go inside.
Or show your partner how you like to be touched. Ultimately, it doesn't matter whether you're an anal enthusiast or whether your butt is strictly off-limits: your personal choices about your sex life are totally your business. As long as everyone is properly educated about anal sex, especially how to do it safely, that's all that matters — and I think it's safe to say that we could all benefit from having more candid conversations about anal sex.
Anyone can partake in anal play, regardless of gender and orientation, and our mission is to highlight this aspect in order to help eradicate the unnecessary stigmas surrounding it. The only way to change society's perception of something is by challenging it and fostering more open dialogues, and anal play is no exception. It's OK to be nervous about trying anal, and afraid of bringing it up to your partner or even of mentioning it to your close friends. If it's something that intrigues you, remember that there's no shame in wanting to tap into another source of sexual pleasure The best news?
Your butt will always be there — so don't be afraid to explore it. Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure. This article was originally published on Sep 27, The Stigma Surrounding Anal Sex. It was me and my husband. He asked, he was curious. We thought about it and then we went on ahead and did it. African American, Group 4. In other cases, the women themselves offered to have anal intercourse in an attempt to please their partner:.
Like I tried it just to please my dude. I want to be the type of woman who does satisfy my man in any way…whatever desires he has. In some of these cases, the man simply initiated anal intercourse:. No, no, my coochie way up here! My shit way up here! All the lights were on! Nigga, you see this! I got a hairy coochie! He wanted some ass! We were doing regular sex and then he ask me for my booty.
And he said, well, let me give you a massage. And I was like, yeah, I got sore legs. Go ahead and give me a massage. He put lotion on my legs and massaged them on up and up my thighs. And he got to the booty and massaged it. Then the next thing you know—BAM! He went on and hit it. Then he was real smooth with it. I said, oh, this motherfucker has experience with this thing. No condoms!
No lubrication! He would flip me and put me in a choke hold, I could hardly breathe, you know? The very first two times I ever had sex I was raped and I was sodomized. I have had anal sex because I was on my period…I just put a tampon in and then yeah. From a medical standpoint, I think anal sex is very dangerous because once the tissue breaks, it goes straight to the bloodstream.
It is risky and I think it is because they be so excited that you have to slow them down…you have to slow them down and let them know, hey, you know, this is a little bit different. It is risky. It is very risky. Women described two main factors that contributed to their perception of risk: lack of protection e. You feel me? Because it is not proper. The last one that I was with that I found out had been messing around with other men… I thank God that I never caught anything from him.
Cause I was at the most risk of catching HIV ever most in my life with him. I know from my personal experience, um, the last person that I was with, um, well, I had anal sex with him. And I had like lots of sex with him. But it was all under the influence. But, um, I put myself at risk with him, cause, uh, I found out that he has had like multiple partners of both sexes. I take it, like, if I get it, I get it. If I get that cold, I get it, and I suffer the consequences.
My first time was with my boyfriend who turned out to be my husband. We were dating and my first time was with him. I trusted him. But I mean, I kept on going back to him, running back to him, running back to him. You could have made me aware. Personally, I like it; I wanted the ultimate workout and he gave it to me; I do like to have my salad tossed.
Yet, when asked whether they preferred anal intercourse or vaginal intercourse, nearly every woman in the focus groups unanimously expressed a preference for vaginal sex.
This suggests that most of the women in these focus groups found vaginal intercourse to be more enjoyable than anal intercourse. Catch me on my come down. I love to fuck on my come down. That is like the best sex ever. It was also clear that specific contexts or circumstances were typically required in order for the women to enjoy the experience. I mean, to me it was pleasurable. But, like I said, we used a condom and a lubricant.
And we took our time, you know? You have to totally, totally, totally relax. For many of these women, the experience was physically uncomfortable or downright painful:. Party over.
Yeah, it was very painful. It was like it just hurt. It was very, very painful. I hate anal sex, it is very painful. My experience was like, as soon as this motherfucker got done fucking me in the ass, I had to go to the toilet.
Then, when I took a shit, I wiped my shit and there was blood on the fucking thing. For real, for real, my saying to this day is exit only. To me, I not only felt sore, but it was demoralizing. It felt like I did something wrong. It felt wrong. While some of the women simply expressed discomfort or distaste for anal intercourse, others described specific circumstances that contributed to their dislike of anal intercourse.
The anal sex for me is like hard. Because the one time that I did do it, I was drunk and it was fucking shoved in and it hurt. And I was like, it was all bad. Latina, Group 3. They just want to do it without…they push you all hard instead of going soft…They are focused on themselves and what they want and not, not realizing that it will hurt us more than them.
We started with the rubber, but it seemed like the rubber was irritating me. Even with the lubricant, it was just too much. It kind of traumatized me. The current study sought to understand why heterosexual women engage in anal intercourse, their perceptions of risks associated with anal intercourse, and their physical and emotional reactions to anal intercourse. Results from a series of four focus groups with women recruited from a community-based HIV and STI testing program and an outpatient drug treatment program suggested that women had a wide range of views on anal intercourse with a man and motivations for having anal intercourse.
That the majority of women reported that they had anal sex because they were high is not surprising, given the sample of women, which was recruited from a drug treatment and STI testing facility. This current study also found a relationship between anal intercourse, substance use, and sexual pleasure among women. Other reasons noted by the women were that they desired anal intercourse; they wanted to please their partner; they wanted to avoid vaginal sex; the situation was an exchange or quid pro quo one; and situations where the woman did not specifically consent, either because of low self-esteem or coercion.
Even in consensual situations, we found that the majority of anal intercourse episodes reported on in this study were initiated by the men, in some cases surprising the women, who either did not expect anal intercourse during the specific encounter or had never done it before.
Several women said that the men wanted to have anal intercourse with them in order to initiate them into something they had never experienced before. In our study, several women endorsed the idea that their male partners wanted to facilitate an experience for the women that they had never had before and that anal intercourse was one such new, perhaps exotic experience.
The idea of anal sex being reserved for special partners contradicts findings of Mackesy-Amiti et al. Our findings also suggest that a substantial minority of participants never actively consented to having anal intercourse verbally and explicitly.
The explicit use of verbal consent on the part of women may reflect a traditional conceptualization of women as sexual gatekeepers and provides support for the role of traditional sexual norms influencing heterosexual anal intercourse behavior. Work by Jozkowski and Peterson reported that a small minority of college-aged men used deception for both vaginal and anal intercourse.
Malamuth noted that some men are willing to engage in aggressive, even coercive sexual behavior, especially if they are unlikely to be caught. The women may have been less likely to overtly refuse the anal intercourse if she was under the influence of drugs. Minieri et al. Harawa, Leng, Kim, and Cunningham reported that more African Americans spend greater parts of their lives single not married or cohabitating than do Whites or Latinos, and this is especially true for women.
Previous research has found that this lack of partners leads to African American women engaging in and accepting condom-less sex, thus lending support for gender and power frameworks to inform our understanding of anal intercourse. Our results indicate that women might consent to anal intercourse because of these same factors.
Bland et al. Results suggested that a substantial number of the women perceived anal intercourse to be risky after the fact, but a variety of situational factors deterred from their ability to view anal intercourse as risky in the moment, including being in the heat of the moment, trusting their partners, and substance use. Reynolds, Latimore, and Fisher reported that sex while high and HIV risk perception were positively associated with anal intercourse in women.
Despite some well-publicized scientific studies of the risks of HIV infection from heterosexual anal intercourse, the women interviewed for this study were vague about exactly how their male partners might be placing them at risk.
The women acknowledged that gay and bisexual men were a source of HIV infection, and that men who had been to prison and who might have had sex with another man were a source of risk for women. The women did not mention the risks of HIV infection from sex with an injection drug user, though many acknowledged both injection and non-injection drug use by male partners with whom they had had anal intercourse.
The research literature makes clear distinctions between risks among men who have sex with men from insertive anal intercourse compared to receptive anal intercourse, but the women did not. Findings from the current study suggest that only a handful of the participants actually enjoyed anal intercourse.
Pain as an insurmountable barrier to anal intercourse is consistent with the study by Stulhofer and Adkukovic Even among the participants who did seem to enjoy anal intercourse, most expressed an explicit preference for vaginal intercourse over anal intercourse and described several specific factors which needed to be in place for them to enjoy the anal intercourse experience. Women who enjoyed anal intercourse specified the need for a partner who was experienced in the use of lubricants and who used them to make anal intercourse more pleasurable for the women.
Conversely, women with male partners who were more egocentric about their own needs, or lacking experience with lubricant use, or both, during the encounter almost unanimously described the encounter as painful. The current study has limitations worth noting. The taboo nature of anal sex also feels exciting and is this huge turn on. I love opening myself up and exposing myself in this way that feels really good and really empowering. Anal sex feels sexy and slippery so much lube! As long as I'm really relaxed, as in I've had a ton of wine and there's lots of lube, it can feel good.
But it also took a while to get here. The first few times I did it, it felt awful, but I've realized I was doing it wrong. If you want to enjoy anal, you need to have lube and lots of it. Like, you almost don't even want to breathe or sneeze because you're afraid of what might happen and you're just this huge ball of unhappiness and tension?
You can't enjoy anything in the world and you can't concentrate? No, thank you on the anal sex. Every movement, rub, climax feels 10 times stronger. How it actually feels on it's own is just like something is sliding along the sphincter.
Not amazing, not horrible, not painful.