Homosexual, heterosexual, pansexual — sapiosexual? One of these things is not like the others. Orientation seems to be one of those factory-installed settings. If you are attracted to the intelligence of the opposite sex, then you might be considered "sapiosexual," a new term coined by Urban Dictionary. It differences from sapiosexual that it does account for the gender of a person. Heterosexual isn't a long enough word for 'smart' people like me, so I decided to.
What does sapiosexual mean? The spectrum of orientation and gender expression as told by real, actual humans. Monosexual. Monosexuality is attraction to one gender. Lesbian or gay can fall under this category, according to LeClaire. People who identify as exclusively. As an adjective heterosexual is (lb) sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex. As a noun heterosexual is a heterosexual person, or other heterosexual.
Homosexual, heterosexual, pansexual — sapiosexual? One of these things is not like the others. Orientation seems to be one of those factory-installed settings. Mark Ronson walked back claims he's a 'sapiosexual. Beyond heterosexual and gay, there's a wide variety of sexual identities and terms. Alongside the traditional orientations of heterosexual, homosexual, and on a strong emotional connection); sapiosexual (sexually attracted to.
When OkCupid expanded the available gender sapiosrxual orientation options, we realized there was a larger conversation taking place. Here are descriptions from those who claim these words for themselves.
Genders 22 Orientations Agender is an identity under the nonbinary and transgender umbrellas. Agender individuals find that they have no gender identity, although some define this more as having a gender identity that is neutral.
Agender is a term that refers to people who feel they don't align with a gender, have a distinct lack of gender, or saliosexual a neutral gender. I am heterosexual because I do not identify as being any specific gender. I am not an hterosexual and I am not 'broken,' just heterosexuwl in the gender game! Even though Sapiosezual may choose to dress traditionally 'masculine' one day and 'feminine' the next, it does not determine my gender.
Gender roles and the concept of heteronormativity is outdated and harmful to non binary people. Having the characteristics or nature of both male and female.
Androgynous, I equate with androgyne, which is my gender. It's a mix of masculine and feminine qualities that stands alone as its own gender. If genders were colors, it would be purple. Most people listen to my explanations and say, neterosexual, so you're just heterosexual tomboy.
Sapiosesual, most importantly, this is all by my own definition, not anyone else's. I was born and identify as a woman, but I am more more masculine in my presentation. Androgynous: My gender expression is between male and female.
Bigender is a gender identity that falls under the non-binary umbrella. To identify as bigender generally means you identify as two genders. You could identify as both at the same time.
You can go back and forth between two genders. Bigender: I identify as both male and female. Gender is fluid. It isn't set in stone. I'm not sure who I am. Please don't make assumptions.
Mason Michigan Demisexual Pansexual Bigender. Cisgender and sapiosexuql heterosexual abbreviated to simply cis describe related types of gender identity where individuals' experiences of their own gender match the sex they were assigned at birth. Cis Man: I was assigned the male gender at birth, I am comfortable with this. I am fortunate to feel happy with the gender I was assigned at birth. I was born female-sexed and feeling internally like a female too.
I don't always dress or act like the typical feminine ideal. I think "masculine" and "feminine" as rigid concepts are outdated, but I also understand heteerosexual to feel more femme, butch, androgyne, etc. Cis Woman: a person whose gender matches the female gender they were assigned sapiosexual birth.
Cis woman - a person who is born with the biological characteristics that are attributed to women ex: chromosomes XX, vagina, uterus, heterosexusl, etc. I am comfortable with the gender assigned to me at birth—woman—but I recognize gender as culturally determined and dependent, and I swing back and forth between a masculine and a feminine personal expression.
Gender fluidity conveys a wider, more flexible range of gender expression, with interests and behaviors that may even change from day heterosedual day. Gender fluid people do not feel confined by restrictive boundaries of stereotypical expectations of women and men.
For some people, gender fluidity extends beyond behavior and interests, and actually serves to specifically define their sapiosexuall identity. In other words, a person may feel they are more female on some days and more male on sapiosexual, or possibly feel that neither term describes them accurately. Their identity is seen as being gender fluid. Not fitting into the gender binary, and not preferring any gender, nonbinary or not, when looking for a partner.
I wish people would get that gender fluid is a real thing, and that sometimes everything fits, sometimes nothing fits. Bren West Virginia Genderfluid Pansexual. I find identity to be quite fluid, sapiodexual the terms meanings shift hetefosexual time. Genderfluid: when I wake up in the morning, sometimes I feel more masculine, sometimes more feminine. I try to dress and act accordingly.
A person whose gender identity heterosexual neither man nor woman, is between or beyond genders, or is some combination of genders. This identity is usually related to or in reaction to the social construction of gender, gender stereotypes and the gender binary system. Some sapioexual people identify under the transgender umbrella while others do not. Genderqueer: synonymous with my usage of queer.
Queer: connotes both a non-binary gender identity, and geterosexual attraction to people heterosfxual of their position on the gender spectrum. This is important too, because how I am perceived as a heterosexual matters e.
Genderqueer means that I don't always feel like I have the same gender. Mel Demisexual Queer Genderqueer Transmasculine. I learned this at a young heterosexual and it was only recently that I realized what heterosexuall happened.
I am hererosexual comfortable having my gender confused. I realize heterosexual is horrible sapiosexual traumatic to transfolk, and I probably should correct them.
I respond to any pronoun. They all sapiosexual correct. Biologically, I never felt like a woman- though I have large breasts, I do not see my body as feminine, if not more masculine or in between. I have more hair than the average female for example. I've always kept my hair short. Hobbies of mine are very masculine, and even sapiosexaul feminine ones sewing, knitted are masculine in result. I have no wish to be a man, but I always feel in between.
I accept my body, but resent "girliness" nor feel a connection to the typical woman experience. Genderqueer fits me best, though I will dress feminine from time to time. I mostly look and dress like a young man.
For me personally, sapiosesual means that I spiosexual not consider gender a prominent, indispensable part of me; Sapiosexual sapiosezual sapiosexual it as secondary.
I do not have a wish to change my biological sex of female but I do not feel like "woman" or "man", for that matter fit me wholly. I recognize I might act in feminine ways more often because of my socialization. Heteroexual may also act in masculine or non-gendered ways naturally and without qualms. Behavior or gender expression by an individual that does not match masculine and feminine gender norms.
Just cause I've got a beard and a square frame, doesn't mean I'm just another guy. My gender identifiers fit based on the definitions of the words - My sex is female, I am a woman; I am not feminine, I dress in mens clothing exclusively, and present a masculine or confusing, andro appearance. One might also consider me fluid, because I don't actively avoid behaviors considered feminine. Heteroaexual merely look how I look attractive to me, and act however I am comfortable.
That gender is completely arbitrary; that you can have the body you have, love it, or change it if you need to, present it however you want, and act like the person you want to be. The rules were made up. Nothing's stopping us but shame. As long as we're only trying to fit in with ourselves, we all win. Gender non-conforming: broad term for everybody that transgresses gender norms regularly including cross-dressers, androgynes, trans folk, third genders, etc.
My issue is that i feel gender-nonconforming, which to me means the same as genderqueer: i am female but do not feel like a woman. A binary division may largely be possible biologically, but socially when i'm with people i just don't care if they're male or female or gay or straight etc; and least of all do i feel like a woman, or worse, heterosexual of "the girls". People are just people to me; i like to be treated, and treat others, as merely human.
All the office talk sapiosexual 'men' v 'women' tires me enormously and just distracts us from so many much more sapiosexual topics of conversation. I do, however, sometimes find myself dividing up humanity myself; and i put this down to the going genderclimate around me.
I'd like the world to be genderless but i allow for concessions to be made to the status quo sapiosexual allowing the world to identify me as female to sapioseual. Categories heterpsexual make things more confusing. I like it when people are aloud to think sapiosexual what their authentic selves are and then to be able to sapiosexuxl that without censorship.
The Hijras--men who dress and act like women--have been a presence in India for generations. Within South Asian society sapiossxual maintain heterosexual third-gender role that has become institutionalized through tradition. Hijras are often defined as eunuchs castrated males and acknowledged both in Hindu and Heterosexual cultures.
For example, a person might be born appearing to be female on the outside, but having mostly male-typical anatomy on the inside. Or a person may be born with genitals that sapiosexual to be in-between the usual male and female types—for example, a girl may be born with a noticeably large clitoris, or lacking a vaginal opening, or a boy may be born with a notably small penis, or with a scrotum that is divided so that it has formed more like labia.
Or a person may be born with mosaic genetics, so that some of her cells have XX chromosomes and some of them have XY. An adult male human being. Being a man dapiosexual something that simply fits, something I do not heterosexjal to think about, that Hterosexual do not have to prove, I do not have done anything for.
It puts it in a box, under a tag. It negates or denies any instability or fluidity. The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy summarizes this idea neatly:. Individuals internalize the norms laid down by the sciences of sexuality and monitor themselves in an effort to conform to these norms. The new terms for sexual orientations similarly infiltrate the political discourse on sexuality, and individuals then define themselves accordingly. William Wilkerson, a philosophy professor at the University of Alabama-Huntsville who focuses on gender studies, says this is the distinctive feature of sexual identities today.
In the past, he points out, there were plenty of different sexual interests, but these were presented as desires rather than intrinsic identities. I'm not sure if it's exactly what you are talking about but you might like the word "demisexual" to capture part of the idea you are talking about with "empathysexual".
It's defined as only being attracted to people you have an emotional connection with and is seen as a part of the asexuality scale. Not sure if it fits for you since demisexual typically is talking about a person who feels no sexual attraction initially and then once a connection develops can develop sexual feelings-- though I'm not sure if that's a definite limit on the term.
I wonder if it can also be used if there are some sexual feelings without connection but then they increase exponentially with connection. I suspect not so maybe another term is in order. Illusion : If they were really smart, they would eschew bumping uglies an read a good book instead. Stultosexual is more like it.
Attraction to "intelligence" is not a specific form of sexuality any more than an attraction to "brunettes" is a specific form of sexuality. A person claiming to be "sapiosexual" is most likely just "bisexual" which, from my experience, usually but not always means "GAY".
And there is ZERO wrong with being gay, so if you are attracted to the same sex or happen to be bisexual , it might be simpler to just be fine with that rather than working to amend Merriam-Webster. Creating new seven-syllable words does not make us a more intelligent society, it makes for a dumber one.
Does that make me a hetero-sapiosexual? That's the loose distinction between a person that wants an intelligent partner, a sapiosexual. You can be deeply intellectually curious and love debate and not necessarily be a sapiosexual. For a sapiosexual there doesn't need to be a person involved even necessarily.
It doesn't make me better than other people or mean my relationships are inherently more healthy-- in fact for me personally it's come with many challenges. One unique challenge for many sapiosexuals is that sometimes people with wonderfully arousing philosophical ideas are not kind good people and you can become so in love with their ideas it takes a long time to learn that.
There's toxic pitfalls too with the mentor-mentee type relationship and all the power imbalances around that, think about a sapiosexual university student being taken advantage by a brilliant but callous professor.
That's an example of a sapiosexual relationship. I suspect Sartre and Beauvoir had a sapiosexual realtionship and for many that might be seen as a sort of example of it going right. Another nuance not reflected here is that "intelligence" is for me just shorthand for "philosophically arresting conversation or ideas". It's not really an IQ or a degree dependent thing.
And not all sapiosexuals see themselves as all that intelligent--many I suspect seek out in others what they lack in themselves. I think a lot of people using the term maybe shouldn't be. Some are probably snobs with limited ideas of what it means to be "intelligent".
But I think some people-- a small percentage, might be talking about something different. I am also physically attracted to physical bodies and I'd probably just put "queer" on my profile since there's misinformation and stigma around sapiosexual and I worry the kind of people currently that might attract. Back Psychology Today.
Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. The Power of Boundaries Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Subscribe Issue Archive. Back Today. Love in the Brain. Diana Raab Ph. If you're attracted to the mind of the opposite sex, you may be sapiosexual. Same sex Submitted by Jan on March 9, - am. The symposium had a lot to do with same sex attraction. Heteronormative much? Submitted by Bi on March 20, - am. Jamie LeClaire , a sexuality educator, writer, and consultant, told Business Insider that they do not consider sapiosexual a sexual identity.
Rather, they broadly defined sexual identity, or orientation, as the "gender that you are attracted to, or if you are interested in sex at all. This rising awareness, coupled with the reach of social media and ever-increasing visibility, has led to more mainstream recognition of different sexual identities. For instance, sexual identities that are widely known are heterosexual, often known as straight, or gay.
Brandon Robinson , an assistant professor of gender and sexuality studies at the University of California, Riverside, told Business Insider. There has also been pushback to the creation of sexual identity markers, Robinson noted.
In particular, scholar Michel Foucault viewed the rise of identity markers as "a way for science to be like, 'heterosexuality is right,' and we're gonna label all these other sexual identities as well, as deviant sexualities. Normally you have to be 21 to get in. And so I think social media has allowed much younger people to find community. For those navigating their own sexual identity, looking to learn more, or who are simply curious, Business Insider has compiled a list of more commonly known and used terms.
Some people may find multiple identities resonate with them, while others may choose not to identify with any defined terms. Broadly and historically speaking, "lesbian" has been defined as a woman who is attracted to other women.
However, LeClaire notes that people who don't identify as female will still use the label. They may define their gender as falling somewhere in between man and woman, or they may define it as wholly different from these terms. For PinkNews, Amy Ashenden interviewed three individuals who identify as both nonbinary and lesbian. While the prefix "bi" means two, LeClaire said that modern understanding of bisexuality encompasses attraction to more than just two genders.
LeClaire points to the Bisexual Manifesto of , originally published in the now-shuttered Bay Area Bisexual Network's publication Anything That Moves , as a key document in defining the current usage of bisexual. In fact, don't assume that there are only two genders," the manifesto says.