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Or, if you're feeling especially turned on, you could head down south and give his knee a few kisses. Would you like him to try it on you? If you're both ticklish or sensitive, how do you keep your hands busy during sex? Hey Glamour fans, we need your advice.

We want to know what's important to you when it comes to Glamour and all things digital—what do you like most? What do you want to see more of? I'm fairly experienced, with close to 10 partners over the nearly 23 years I have been sexually active. Unfortunately,things slowed down dramatically after the first year, then ground to a halt by the second. I had tried talking to him on a few occasions during that second year, to no avail.

Here we are 2 more years later, and sex is virtually non existent. He is reasonably attentive in other areas. In any other situation, I would probably think it was my fault, or something wrong with me. Or maybe even that he was possibly cheating. I am very certain that none of these scenarios apply although I am open to trying to accommodate any changes that he mentions he would appreciate I have had to suppress my feelings of desire so many times, I'm afraid of losing the ability to feel that way anymore.

The emotional toll is starting to take a physical toll on me as well. I've cried myself to sleep more times than I can count. I'm also very tense most of the time now, and have been getting headaches and stiff necks more frequently than normal. I often have a feeling of tightness in my chest, and have started eating more and smoking more. In the past these two elements have been clear external signs that I'm unhappy.

Really, the only hope I hold out now, is that it might be "Low T". I don't know how much testing or therapy costs, and we don"t have health insurance right now. I have been doing a bit of research on natural solutions.

My main question is about the safety and efficacy of natural therapy. How safe are remedies like saw palmetto, etc. Have you adequately expressed your feelings about your husband's lack of desire to your husband? Have you expressed your own sexual desire to him on a regular basis? What is his response?

I am just getting back to the dating scene and I do agree with this article. Thanks for the great article. I count myself among the perfectly normal women you mentioned in the article that don't self-lubricate very well. Thank you for writing that! One of the kindest things that my partner does for me in the bedroom is embrace the use of commercial lube wholeheartedly.

It helps me to combat the critical voices inside my head that say I'm not normal, or that I'm emasculating him by not getting wet from his caresses. Thanks for the additional reassurance that I am perfectly normal. I love that you brought up full body caresses, since that's one of the things that seems to be missing pretty often.

I'm also glad you brought up that wet doesn't necessarily mean ready. I have no problem with lubrication, but it takes me a while to loosen up enough that penetration isn't painful, even if I feel pretty aroused.

But really, since each woman is so individual, I'd saying being able to freely talk about likes, dislikes, and needs is the most important thing. Couples need to talk more freely about their erotic preferences. But that's easier said than done Actually, I don't get aroused that easy sometimes, and it takes a few massages here and there, a few kisses, not too rushed or too impatient, I think that when I take my time on the foreplay, I can easily have more than 5 orgasms, and even thought it takes more time, it's totally worth it!

I read your clues but am a female and thats a times more refined love making woman to woman At least now that i know that all those years of looking for Mrs. Right and all the research and data that I've accumulated where to be my best and most useful bit in a relationship, but I do say this, there are times when being gently, jus does not cut the cake, know ur partner, talk to ur partner, it makes everything else work soooooo much better and smoother and not every woman os equal, so there is no cookie-cutter sure way to please every woman, u have to learn her, study her, explore her, talk to her, interveiw her, play with her, before u will ever have any idea as to what, where and how to please her.

Yes it is beautiful. And wish I could slow sensual touch and just create a build up that explodes together I tried to explain to my lover friends w rare benefits since the s, now committed. After two years he is finally not causing extreme pain. Sometimes, people won't listen to spouses but might listen to a sex therapist. I have no idea if he'd accompany you, but a brief course of sex therapy just might help. If he won't go, you might consider going solo.

A sex therapist might be able to suggest approaches that help. When a man pays attention to my back starting at the back of the neck. Sweeping my hair to the side Gentle bites and kisses working his way down.

I literally cannot lay still. I am generally a quiet lover however pleasuring my back makes me cry and whine in sheer pleasure. My body convulses and arches against my man he can literally do what he wants at that point Michael Castleman, M. He has written about sexuality for 36 years. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. The Power of Boundaries Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Subscribe Issue Archive. Back Today.

Love in the Brain. Michael Castleman M. Gently excite all of it. Not me Submitted by Amber on April 1, - am. I tip my hat Submitted by Michael Castleman M. Roll over amber. Submitted by Genie on March 21, - pm. It should of ended Way too slow!

There's much more to discover: many kinds of fun do not involve penetration. Incidentally, the pain you experienced from intercourse was probably due to a loss of vaginal lubrication once your levels of oestrogen dwindled. If you wish to try intercourse, you could see if a lubricant helps. But you have discovered what many others have already found — that outercourse can be extraordinarily pleasurable.

In fact, some people think it beats intercourse! Topics Sex Sexual healing. Relationships features. Reuse this content.